is it hard to make money as a doula?
There’s never been a better time to be a birth doula and yet the average burnout rate is crazy fast. In addition to lack of respect from some hospitals, the main reasons are underpricing and overworking. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Let’s explore how you can build a beautiful boundaried business that allows both you AND your clients to flourish.
Photo of me working as a doula by the incredible Julia Peterson Photography
Nobody becomes a doula just to make a money, it’s too much freaking work for that. You felt drawn to it because something stoked your passion to serve birthing people. This is a calling, not just a career. So now you’re looking around and wondering “Is it hard to make money as a doula?” The answer is that you can make great money but, and this is a big but, you need boundaries. Let’s talk about all the things I did wrong, so you don’t have to.
you take on the wrong clients
What happened: Someone asks you to be their doula and you think “They want me! Perfect” and jump right in.
Why it happened: You didn’t spend time getting to know them and letting them get to know you. You think there might not be enough clients out there who will fit you.
Why it’s a bad idea: Almost every time I’ve had problems with a client, I had gone against my better judgement. With hindsight I knew I hadn’t been the right doula for them and I should have referred them to someone else. Is it hard to make money as a doula? Well yes, if you take on clients that don’t work for you and burn you out before you’ve even begun.
How to fix it: Always do an interview, either in person or on the phone. If there are lots of red flags, take a pause and listen to your gut. You don’t even have to be able to explain it rationally; if it’s a no, it’s a no. Trust that the Universe will support you in finding the people YOU were meant to serve.
you are vague about expectations
What happened: They thought you did postpartum work as part of the package. They expected you to join them right from the first sign of birthing. They assumed you would talk to the providers on their behalf or that you would give medical advice. They thought hiring you would guarantee them the birth of their dreams. The list of potential false expectations is - quite frankly - endless.
Why it happened: These assumptions are easy for clients to make if you don’t explain to them what you do and what you don’t do. How would they know? They never had a doula before.
Why it’s a bad idea: If you guys aren’t on the same page before the birth then either you will disappoint them or feel obligated to go way beyond your purview, leading to overworking and underearning. Either way, it’s a mess that can lead to you feeling resentful, bad reviews, clients that ask for money back or just a bad taste in everybody’s mouth,
How to fix it: It’s your job to provide clarity. During the interview, say “Hey, I’m going to let you know what it would be like to work with me!” and then tell them EVERYTHING you would offer, from start to finish. This takes 10 to 15 minutes if you do it right, but it’s totally worth it (you will also have this up on your website and in your contract but honestly, people often don’t read it). Here’s a great blog about expectation setting.
Your boundaries suck
What happened: They call you (and you pick up) every time they have a scary thought, a passing fear or a bad day. You turned into their couples therapist. Your prenatals last six hours. You speak on their behalf with the providers. You end up doing a bunch of postpartum work for free. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Why it happened: Maybe you failed to have the full talk about expectations at the interview. Maybe you did but they pushed your boundaries and you let it happen. Maybe you never knew what expectations to set in the first place and so everything they ask for feels like it’s part of your job.
Why it’s a bad idea: There’s no guarantee that you’re being a better doula just because you put in more hours. But what is guaranteed is that the more hours you put in, the less you’re getting paid per hour and the less time you have for your kids/partner/self-care/life. There’s also a decent chance that you’re doing it to either prove your worth or get them to like you, which is a risky strategy that - bottom line - doesn’t work.
How to fix it: Get clear on why you’re doing this. Write down your beliefs about what you should be offering and why. Do you think that over-giving makes you good? Do you believe that saying “no” makes you bad? What is the underlying belief here? Now challenge that belief. If you don’t know how to, here’s a technique that works every time from Byron Katie. Next, be willing to sit with the discomfort of saying no to people. Be willing to feel that discomfort next time someone asks you for something that is not in your contract. Have a meditation technique you use or a buddy to call when it happens. Remember that if you never say “no” then people can’t trust you when you say “yes”. Become a trustworthy person; learn to say no when you mean no. It will make you not just a better doula but a better human.
you took on way too many clients
What happened: You love this job, it fuels your passion, you want to change the world and so you took on alllll of the clients.
Why it happened: You’re not being realistic about how much time each client will take, how much time you have and how much energy you can expend without ending up a nervous wreck.
Why it’s a bad idea: You’ll end up quitting. Trust me. I’ve been there.
How to fix it: Be realistic and work out how many births you can do a month. This requires that you are honest about what kind of time commitment it takes and what other things you have in your life. If you have three young kids, that’s important. If you have a partner that can help you out, that makes a difference. If you live in an area where you will need to drive a lot to see clients, don’t ignore that. If you want a step-by-step guide for how to do this, you can find it in my e-book Building a Business with Beautiful Boundaries.
You Don’t Charge Enough
What happened: You are operating under the assumption that this is a low paying profession and therefore you automatically set a fee that isn’t going to pay your bills. You have a sliding scale and everyone opts for the lowest bracket. People ask you to do doula work as a “favour” or make out that they can’t afford you at all.
Why it happened: Many people who ask “Is it hard to make money as a doula?” are coming from a perspective where women’s work (child care, cleaning, etc.) is seen as less important and is therefore underpaid. Doula work is indeed women’s work and has definitely been performed by many women for free or low fee. And the truth is EVERYONE, regardless of their ability to pay, deserves to have a doula. But you also deserve to make enough money to feed yourself and live a flourishing life.
Why it’s a bad idea: Do I need to spell this out? You have bills to pay. You need to take a vacation occasionally. You were put on this earth to flourish, not just to scrape by. Just because you care about the people you’re serving, doesn’t mean you should subject yourself to a life that doesn’t work for you.
How to fix it: In my opinion, it’s okay to charge a lower fee for your first few births; we all need to get experience. But once you’re at 5 to 10 births, it’s time to see this as a job and not a hobby. Don’t base the calculation on “what you deserve” - it’s too subjective. Instead, base it on an objective survey of how much money you need and how many hours you can work. If you want a step-by-step guide for how to do this, you can find it in my e-book Building a Business with Beautiful Boundaries. My own experience was that once I started taking myself seriously, the answer to the question of “Is it hard to make money as a doula?” was “Hell no!”
SIDE NOTE on SLIDING SCALES: When I charged according to a sliding scale, I consistently found that people who lived in huge fancy houses chose the lower end of my scale, and those who were struggling themselves would scrape together the money to pay my higher rate. So I ditched the sliding scale and instituted a scholarship option that people who were genuinely in-need could apply for. Then I offered those who felt abundant the chance to donate to a scholarship fund that would support those pro bono births. I’m not sure why exactly, but it spoke to the rational and generous side of people instead of playing into their stories about how much they could afford.
So after all that…the big question: is it hard to make money as a doula? This is a calling that’s not easy but if you create a business with good boundaries then you can make good money and stay healthy and happy. You’ll also be engaging in incredibly meaningful work, honouring your own intuition, serving people who really need you and respecting your own well-being. Everyone’s a winner.